Word of the Day

Dramatic Tagline: Redefining redefinition.
Rest assured, it's not real.

Word Define

WELL

WELL (n) an extremely deep hole that you often can fall into and never get out

WELL stands for Really Endlessly Long Livefall. Except on Mondays when it means Why is Everything so darn Lame? And on the fourth of July when it is pronounced woo!!!!!

Examples of WELLs include that thing that you fell into as a child in the 1800s in Missouri while your Ma was busy makin’ pies, that really big one you climb into while thinking so as to not lose you hand in the conversation, and wellllllllllllll… that’s it.

Aug
4th

Wed

DAPWITS

DAPWITS (n) a parent, often from Asia (yes, that includes India because India is a subcontinent of Asia), who says that taking the SAT in 4th grade is good for your health

DAPWITS stands for Dumb @$[Sensored] Parent Who Is Too STUPID.

Aug
2nd

Mon

MOCHE

MOCHE (n) a type of problem where somebody totally said this but they totally think they said that

MOCHE stands for Misunderstanding Over a Commonly Heard Expression. It happens most often in coffee shops.

Jul
29th

Thu

DREAM

DREAM (n) a kind of reality where a giant wheel of cheese chases you with a vengeance

DREAM stands for Dark Realistic crEation of Absolute Mindcontrolling.

Oh oh oh have you seen Inception? It’s supposed to have these cool effects and OMGOMG I never saw the Matrix so this oughtta be good I dunno it should be anyway!!!!

A DAYDREAM is a special kind of DREAM where the cheese chases your teacher instead whenever you close your eyes.

Jul
24th

Sat

UPTIME

UPTIME (n) a method of measuring how magical somebody is by means of how long they can levitate in midair

UPTIME stands for Universal Practice of Timing Mid-air Magical Entities.

UPTIME is expressed by means of a percent, apparently because sleeping on a mattress isn’t magical. Even if the mattress is from magicalmattresses.com…oh wait, that site doesn’t exist. Never mind.

Jul
22nd

Thu

…

… (interjection) a statement of WTFAREYOUSAYINGYOUBIAT©Hism

… stands for use.your.intelligence.moron(.)

Usage:

“I washed my left armpit with extra soap last night.”

“…”

Jul
19th

Mon

STUDY

STUDY (v) to stare at something that hurts your eyes for a long, long amount of time in hope that you will start hallucinating and becoming psychic

STUDYING is often thought of as a good thing because who doesn’t want to become psychic? However, many studies show that STUDYING makes you stupider, though most teachers say that it’s (red)bull[censored] because they made a dastardly assumption that kids like to have fun. This is the center of a massive worldwide debate that’s going on in the same room that Osama bin Laden once took a p[censored]. Nobody really knows why he did that.

Jul
16th

Fri

GREED

GREED (v) the past-tense form of the verb to GREE

GREE stands for Get Rich Ending Ecstasy.

GREE has become obsolete in 1987, when the Cold War started to slow down and strange acronyms went out of style, along with bugs, spiders, black jumpsuits, and James Bond movies.

Since then, people began using GREEDY instead, which stands for Get Rich Ending Ecstatic Dumb@$$ Yelling. Or Gently Reeling in Endless Extents of Dough…Yoohoo!

Examples of GREED include corporate GREED (hands down to Microsoft for introducing it to the world in a hidden DOS 1.337.e.asdf command called “Mine”), fighting over the remote, eating too much at the buffet, and buying that sweater for your cute but ugly niece Mary who hates sweaters and prefers to wear stuff that makes people cringe instead of donating your life savings to Africa. HOW COULD YOU!!!?!